Behind the Palace Walls Read online

  Something flashed across his face, but it was gone too quickly for her to be sure what it was. “It is too late for that. We must deal with the consequences of our actions as best we can.”

  She blinked. “The consequences of our actions? Is that how you think of this baby?” As if she hadn’t thought the same thing herself. But he said it so coldly, without even a hint of emotion. Did he love this baby, or did he just feel obligated?

  “He is a consequence, is he not?” He took a step closer. She thought he would reach for her, but he just stood there with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his rainy eyes gleaming with heat.

  “He might be a she,” she said softly. Because she couldn’t think of anything else to say when he stood so close. She could smell the subtle spice of his skin, could feel the heat emanating from him. Suddenly she wanted to slip her arms around his waist, press her cheek to his hard chest. Why?

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “This baby is a Voronov, a royal descendent of my line, and I will protect him—or her—with every last breath in my body.”

  Paige trembled. Not because he’d frightened her, but because he was so fierce and she believed he meant every word. He would never let harm come to their baby. He was an honorable man. She believed it to her core.

  But he was not honorable in everything. And that’s what she didn’t understand.

  “I want to know,” she said, drawing in a deep breath to steady herself, “why you destroyed Russell Tech. I want to understand.”

  She needed to understand, because if she didn’t, the guilt of what she had done would eat her alive. How could she be his wife if she felt guilty every time her body responded to him?

  She didn’t think he would answer her. He would think she didn’t deserve an answer, or he would tell her it was simply business. He’d done that once before. She expected it, waited for it, yet she’d still had to ask.

  His gray eyes took on a faraway cast, as if he were looking at some distant object she could not see.

  And then he spoke, his gaze coming sharply into focus once more. What he said rocked her to the core.

  “Tim Russell destroyed my family. He took everything, and he didn’t stop until nothing was left.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  PAIGE’S KNEES FELT weak so she sank onto the bench again. Or fell onto it maybe. Alexei’s face was stark, raw with emotion. She hadn’t expected it, and her heart went out to him, squeezed tight in her chest with sympathy.

  But what if he was wrong? What if he’d misunderstood?

  She quickly dismissed that thought as ridiculous. How could he misunderstand something so important? He truly believed it, regardless of what she thought.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, because she didn’t know what else to say.

  He turned, his face in profile to her, and stared out at the vast gardens. “My aunt was a ballet dancer with the Bolshoi. She met Tim Russell when she was on tour with the company in the United States. They married a short while later.”

  Paige couldn’t have moved if she tried. Alexei’s aunt had been married to Chad’s father?

  “But that means…”

  “That Chad is my cousin, yes.”

  “I’ve met his mother,” she said softly. “I had no idea she was Russian.”

  And Chad had never mentioned the family connection. Why not? He’d briefed her about his nemesis on the flight to Moscow, but he’d never once said that Alexei was his cousin.

  But she’d only been an employee. Why would she need to know the personal side of their story? She didn’t. Yet knowing he’d been romancing her sister at the same time, she felt oddly betrayed once again that he had not told her this information.

  Would it have changed her reaction to Alexei? Would it have made her more cautious when he professed an interest in her? Perhaps she would have realized just how brutal this feud was and kept above the fray.

  As if that were an excuse, she chided herself. She’d known that Chad and Alexei were business rivals and she’d still let herself be charmed. What would knowing the true relationship have possibly done to make it different?

  “Did you not ever wonder where he learned to speak Russian?” Alexei asked.

  “I assumed he learned it in college.” She stared at her clasped hands on her lap, heat rising into her cheeks. Was there absolutely anything she’d not been deceived about?

  “He learned it from his mother, just as he learned to hate us from her as well.”

  “But why?” she asked, unable to fathom what would make Elena Russell do such a thing. She’d thought Chad’s mother was a bit standoffish, but she’d never thought the woman was rude or hateful. The few times she’d been in the office, she’d been nice enough. She just hadn’t been overly friendly. Paige had chalked it up to reserve. Some people were just that way.

  His expression was like granite. “My father’s family believed my mother too lowborn to deserve the title of princess, and that created a rift between them and us. When my father died, it was my grandmother who turned us out. She should not have been able to do so, but she knew people in certain places and my mother did not.”

  Paige’s heart throbbed with feeling. How could anyone throw her grandchildren out into the cold, even if she didn’t like their mother? It was monstrous, unfathomable.

  “Where does Chad’s father fit into this?” she asked.

  “When he was expanding his operations, Elena suggested he go to my mother and try to purchase the bit of land she’d gotten on my father’s death. By then, the majority of the family property had passed into state hands with the death of my grandmother. All that was left was what my mother had.”

  Paige shook her head. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  “We had nothing, Paige.” Alexei shoved his fingers through his hair. “Nothing except our land, and not much of it either. Russell made promises to my mother in exchange for her selling to him. It should come as no surprise that he kept none of those promises,” he finished, his jaw so hard she thought it might crack.

  “But he paid you money, right? Didn’t that help some?”

  He snorted in disgust. “He paid far less than he would make when he developed it. And when he struck oil, he refused to share any of the profits as he’d promised. My mother was too trusting, and we ended up with less than nothing.”

  So Chad’s father had bought Voronov land, promised to give them a share of profits, then disappeared with the money. She could understand why Alexei would dislike the Russells. But as successful as he now was, did he really need to embark on revenge simply to get back at Chad’s family for what they’d done?

  Tim Russell was dead, and Alexei was beyond rich now. She hurt for him, but she also hurt for Chad. They were both victims of one man’s greed, and it didn’t seem fair to either of them. They had so much in common, if only they could see it.

  “I think I understand why you wanted to acquire Russell Tech,” Paige said. “But Chad’s father died a long time ago. Could the two of you not leave this in the past? You’re family.”

  “Nyet,” Alexei spat. “Chad and his mother are nothing to me.”

  He ground his teeth together to keep from lashing out. How had he started on this trip down memory lane anyway? He had never, ever shared the details of what had happened so long ago with anyone.

  And now he was spilling his guts to her as if they were two women gossiping about their lives. What was happening to him? He’d come out here to tell her he was leaving, because though he’d considered ordering the helicopter and simply going, he’d felt it was wrong to abandon her without an explanation.

  Now he wished he’d done exactly that. He should have left and to hell with the rest.

  She didn’t understand, not really. He was surprised at how much he wanted her to. All he needed was to tell her the rest, to tell her about Katerina, and her lovely face would crease in sympathy. She might even get up and wrap her arms around him.

  But he could not do it. He
could not endure it if she touched him. And he found he couldn’t speak the words about Katerina, couldn’t say it aloud when he’d never done so before. No one knew that he’d gone to Dallas to beg for her life. No one knew that Tim Russell had laughed in his face and thrown him out. He’d been too humiliated to ever share it with anyone.

  He would not start now.

  “It is not as simple as that,” he bit out.

  “But what has Chad done to you?” she asked, her eyes shining with hope. As if she wanted him to see the error of his ways, wanted to play mediator and reunite him with the only branch of his family still living.

  She’d boiled it down to a simple formula and she wanted him to swallow the pill. It was so typically Paige that he would have laughed if he weren’t raging inside. She’d spent her life pleasing people and did not see why everyone couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do the same.

  “Chad inherited his parents’ dislike of me along with Russell Tech. I assure you, had he been the one to close the Valishnikov deal, our situations would be reversed.”

  “I don’t doubt that, but it doesn’t need to be this way. It only takes one of you to change it. You should go to him, should talk—”

  “Stop,” he ordered, his voice harsh and full of the hatred he felt for the Russells. “Not everything can be fixed, Paige. Nor should it.”

  He didn’t like the way she looked at him, the way her lovely dark eyes seemed so sad and disappointed and wary all at once. Again, she made him feel like a great Russian bear, ready to devour her whole and spit out the bones. It made him angry. He might not have been completely honest with her, but he’d never set out to harm her.

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he continued. “You think everything is simple, that a lifetime of problems can be solved with a conversation. You think that I need to forgive and forget, that I somehow need Chad and Elena because we share DNA.”

  “I never said that,” she protested. “But I don’t understand why you don’t try. Someone has to make the first move.”

  “It will not be me,” he said. “I don’t need them. I don’t need anybody.”

  Her eyes shimmered with hurt. “Of course you don’t. It’s much easier that way, isn’t it? Needing people leaves you vulnerable.”

  He was so stunned he couldn’t speak. He’d dated many women, but he’d never shared the details of his life with them. And even if he had, he knew in his bones that none of them would have seen what she had just now. She’d pierced the veil of his pride, of his loneliness, of his shield, and she’d stabbed into the soft heart of the matter.

  It was easier not to need anyone. Easier not to love anyone. She saw through him, and he couldn’t bear it a moment longer than he had to.

  “I have to go now,” he said stiffly. “There is much to be done before we are ready to develop Valishnikov’s land. I will return as soon as I am able.”

  “Why can’t I go with you? I don’t know anyone here but you, and I don’t want to be alone.”

  Her plea cut him to the bone. But he had to stand firm in this. He needed to get away from her until he could regain his perspective. “You will not be alone. Vasily is here, and the staff. There is much for you to do. You will need to learn Russian. When I return, there will be cocktail parties, dinners and evenings at the ballet and theater. You must learn to be a princess.”

  “Why can’t I learn Russian in Moscow?”

  “Because I wish you to learn it here.”

  Her expression fell just a little. “You don’t really want me, do you, Alexei? You married me for the baby, just like you seduced me for information. I don’t matter to you at all.”

  Isn’t that what he wanted her to think? It was easier this way, easier than messy emotional entanglements. Not that he was emotionally entangled, but if he stood here and justified himself, if he tried to soothe her, he would only hurt her more. And he didn’t want to do that.

  When he found his voice, it was hard. Just like he needed it to be.

  “You are my wife and the mother of my child. You are a princess, and wealthier than you have ever dreamed. What more could you possibly need from me?”

  “What more indeed,” she said, turning her head away to gaze into the distance just as he had earlier.

  “I will return in a few days.” He stood there a moment more, hesitating. For what reason, he did not know.

  She waved a hand as if she were a queen dismissing a functionary. She did not look at him. “Fine. Have fun.”

  A few days turned into a week. A week turned into two. Paige had never felt so angry, so alone and so useless in her life. Alexei had dragged her to Russia, married her, and left her to rot in a gilded prison. This was not how she’d envisioned her life turning out. At only twenty-six, she’d thought she had a lifetime ahead of her to do what she wanted, to explore the world, to find a partner in life and get married. To have children.

  Reflexively she pressed her hand to her abdomen. This child was the only wonderful thing about her relationship with Alexei.

  But nothing about this life was normal. She’d left everything behind for the promise of financial security for her sister. But what about her needs? What about the baby? Would Alexei ever be more than a figurehead? Or would he simply leave phone messages and make vague promises about returning soon?

  Paige had been deceived about so many things. Deceived about Chad and his relationship with Emma. Deceived about Alexei’s true intentions when he’d first professed an interest in her. Deceived about the family connection between the man she worked for and the man she’d fallen into bed with.

  Everything had been a deception. The only real thing in her life was this baby. Her fingers tightened over her belly. Sometimes she wondered if the baby was still there. How would she know? According to the doctor, she wouldn’t show for some time, and she wouldn’t feel movement for several more weeks.

  “Please don’t leave me, little one,” she murmured. “You’re all I have left.”

  The only person who would need her and love her was this baby. She hadn’t heard from Emma since she’d left Texas two weeks ago. It tortured her to think that Emma might never forgive her.

  And it angered her. Because she and Emma had been together so long and been through so much. How could her sister truly cut Paige from her life after all they’d been through? She knew Emma was angry, rightfully so, but Paige had to believe her sister would eventually pick up the phone or send an e-mail.

  Because if she didn’t believe it, she would never make it through the endless days and nights.

  And the days literally were endless. This far north, it never got fully dark at night. As the solstice approached, the sky darkened to dusk, and the horizon stayed pink until the sun rose only a few short hours later. It was beautiful and magical, and yet there was no one to share it with.

  Paige was more alone here than she’d ever been in the darkest, loneliest hours after her mother had died.

  It was true there was a large staff at the Voronov Palace, but they were here to serve her, not to be her friend. Not that she hadn’t tried to make friends, but Vasily frowned upon it. He was formal and structured. He bowed in her presence and called her “princess,” no matter how odd it made her feel.

  She did not feel like a princess, but he insisted on maintaining that level of formality and he insisted the staff do so as well. She’d been assigned a personal assistant, a cool young woman named Mariya whose job it was to transform her into a princess worthy of Alexei. So far, there had been daily Russian lessons, etiquette lessons and deportment lessons.

  Today, Mariya had informed her, they were going on a shopping trip to St. Petersburg. Paige, who had never been comfortable shopping in her life, looked forward to the trip as if it were her favorite thing to do. Finally a chance to get out of the palace and see something.

  The ride into town took about a half an hour. Mariya sat silent and respectful across from Paige in the limo, only speaking when Paige asked que
stions or commented on the sights. Another dark car led the way in front of them, with a following car behind them.

  “Why do we need three cars?” Paige asked.

  Mariya regarded her evenly. “It is security, your highness.”

  “Security?” She’d given up asking Mariya not to call her your highness. “Is it dangerous where we are going?”

  Mariya’s short blond hair didn’t dare to move a millimeter when the woman shook her head. “You are a princess and your husband is very wealthy. Security is appropriate.”

  When they arrived on the Nevsky Prospekt, where all the couture boutiques were located, Mariya made Paige wait in the car while she had a security team check each store before they went inside. Once the men gave their okay—what manner of sinister things they expected in a clothing store, Paige had no idea—Mariya hustled Paige into the building.

  Once inside, a team of women descended. Mariya conversed with them in Russian, and then Paige was whisked into the back of the shop and dress after dress was brought out for her inspection. Because she didn’t know the first thing about fashion, she ended up saying they were all nice. Finally, Mariya gave a crisp order and several of the garments were taken away.

  “Please try these on, Princess Voronova,” she said.

  Paige spent the next hour trying on clothes and shoes. When she emerged in a wine-colored silk gown, another woman was standing there, a frown fixed on her face. Mariya, Paige noted, seemed irritated.

  “Princess Voronova, may I introduce you to the Countess Kozlova?”

  “So this is the American that Alexei has married,” the countess interjected with a sniff.

  Something about the way the woman said Alexei’s name sent a spear of jealousy through Paige’s breastbone. That, and the other woman’s appearance. The countess was blonde and groomed to within an inch of her life. She exuded elegance and poise, and she looked far more like the kind of woman Alexei should be with. She made Paige feel duller and frumpier than she ever had.

  It surprised her, but the thought of Alexei with another woman had the power to make her crazy. He was still such a stranger to her, and yet she sometimes felt as if they were connected by more than just a baby.